i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
