I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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