Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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