dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
