Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I will pee on everything he values.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
