Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
this will be a night to untag.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
