some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
