none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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