He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
