I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
