her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
