So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
