She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
