Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
