Duck Duck Cougar?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
