help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize