gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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