i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
