You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I FOUND THE LEGS
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
