I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
