are you still at the devil's house?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
