i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
