i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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