Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
