what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
