question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize
