I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
