I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Someone came in the potted fern
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