That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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