I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
