What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
