he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
