She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
