coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
