he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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