he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My dick has a subreddit
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
