He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
