Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
