So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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