Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
