# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
