How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
