At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
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