Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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