Where is the hickey?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Alive.
So much puke
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize