And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
