so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
