He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
