White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
