you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
