This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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