half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
areolas are like halos for boobs.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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