i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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