covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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