dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
