Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
