I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
