why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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