Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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