When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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